It's been 500 days since I graduated from Carthage (not that I'm counting) and during this time I have been trying to figure out who post-college Marcie is. Then I realized that I have learned some really amazing lessons from the women in my life. Here is what they taught me and my Thank You to them for everything.
My mom: You don't have to wear makeup to have confidence or feel beautiful. My mom never really wore makeup during my childhood unless it was a special occasion. I always admired that about her. I never felt the need to "put my face on" before I went out and I don't understand when my friends would rather be late to something than go out without makeup. I have started wearing makeup more now that I am getting older, but it's always an "if there is time" thing versus a must. There are days when it will be 2 in the afternoon and I will realize that I haven't even looked in a mirror.
My grandma: Always bring food. Feed everyone. Anyone who has ever been to my house knows that my grandma will try to feed you at some point. If you say no, she will think that means she has to push harder. It's something that I just accepted as I got older, but now I realize that I have a milder touch of the same thing. I feel the need to bring food (more specifically desserts) when I go visit someone. This weekend I went to WI and I brought two batches of cupcakes and was worried it wasn't enough.
Mrs. Greenia: If you don't like something, change it. I have never met a woman who took her life into her own hands more than Mrs. Greenia. She has done so much in the past few years from working multiple jobs to dedicating herself to healthy living to still finding time to be involved in the community. AND she does it all with a smile on her face. Every time I see her she is like the light in the room, just glowing. She is my inspiration to really look at my life and make positive changes.
Mrs. Zembala: Everyone deserves a friend. This is a quality I really wish I had. I am far from perfect and I know I am a good friend when I am a friend, but sometimes getting to or staying at that point is where I fail. If I feel like I am not a friend to someone anymore, I cut them out. I don't feel it is fair to me or the other person if I am not willing to put anything into the friendship. This woman, though, she is a champ. She truly sees every person for the greatness that they are and embraces that about them. She is wonderful at being there for anyone who needs her no matter where they are in their own life compared to hers. I was on the verge of tears when I found out they were moving to Texas.
Mrs. Moylan: How to let your child grow and lead their life. Ok, so it is no secret that I do not want kids. However, if I did, I would take a page from Peggy Moylan on how to raise your child to take risks and be independent. More importantly, how to do that and still be a friend and a confidant. Letting your child be their own person does not mean neglecting them, but rather guiding them and then trusting that you did all you could. Going off of that, let's go to...
Becky Moylan: Home is wherever you make it. I look at how Becky is not afraid to go to London or DC or Africa for months or move to a city by herself and I am just in awe. Yes, I went to a college that I knew no one at, but...I actually had Becky (and Noah) less than an hour away. Becky falls in love with a city and makes a connection with it. We make fun of the fact that she will always want to be somewhere else than where she is because of this, but in reality I think that it is great that she feels like she can go anywhere and make it home for however long she is there.
Kim Instenes: There is a time to play and have fun, but you also need to get your work done. In all of the production meetings I sat through at Carthage, this is one of the biggest things Kim taught me. She understood we were learning and that theatre is fun but she also made sure we knew most importantly that we had to get our work done. I try to apply this to everything in my life. I know I struggle with time management, but I have definitely gotten better every year that has passed. Whenever I want to slack off, part of me thinks of Kim and 19 times out of 20 I will go back to my work realizing that whatever activity I want to do will be more fun if I am not stressed about my unfinished commitments.
Valerie Richards: You are who you are when no one is watching. For those of you who don't know, I worked with Valerie at the Parade Company and she is one of the most heartwarming people I have ever met. She is the essence of what it means to pay it forward. She is always doing nice things for others without recognition. Seeing the literal glow it gives her makes me want to be a better person. I think I am a generous person and I enjoy doing things for others, but Val just makes me realize how many little things you can do that can mean just as much.
Sarah Rogers: Opposites attract. Sarah has been my best friend since first grade. However, we are almost nothing alike. She is serious; I'm a little more loosey-goosey. She is more studious; until recently I was more fly by the handle. She was quieter; I was outgoing. We are so different to the point that people have flat out not believed we were friends, let alone friends for as long as we have been. My relationship with Sarah is really one of the things that has helped me be so open-minded. I just think about how different we are and how what matters more than having similarities is the respect you have to have for the other person. That's what makes a friendship work.
Anna Murray: Never settle. (First let me say, the other person I have learned opposites attract from is Anna. We literally have under 10 things that we agree on, but we respect each other enough to not let it be a factor. Ok, now let's move on...) So many people in my life tell me things they are contemplating and all I can think is "You are settling," whether it is a job or a relationship or an apartment. I try my hardest to support my friends in whatever they choose to do, but I am always honest. Anna has never settled for anything in her life; or at least for as long as I have known her. She just has so much faith that she really thinks about what she wants and goes for it. She understands what it means to wait and be patient for the payoff. Just because one option is better than another does not mean you are still not settling.
Lizzy Whalen: Never let go of your inner child. Ok, the thing about Lizzy is that she does have a serious side. She is more mature than I think most people realize. I only feel the need to put that because I think the side people see more often is her inner child. She has always been someone who can take any situation and make it fun. She makes a point of having a good day every day if she can. She does something as simple as finding a smiley face in everyday objects every day. This is something I wish I had; the ability to face each day with a childlike optimism.
Maggie Prong: You can find a new friend anywhere. Maggie was one of my new tour guides when I was at the Parade Company. She always treated me like an adult, but at times when I would be so stressed or tired that I thought I was going to fall she helped me through. Not only was she there for a hug when I needed one but she would follow up later and make sure things were going well. I think I still have an email she sent me with a picture of a bouquet of flowers to brighten my Monday after a stressful weekend. Now we always greet each other with a loud and affectionate "BFF!!!"
Courtney Matula: You can never have too much color in your life. I literally asked Courtney one time how she got dressed because she is always so colorful but it works. Her response was something along the lines of just being sure she was wearing every color of the rainbow. As someone who mainly wears black but loves to paint (granted I haven't painted in a long time) I can honestly say that Courtney is one of the few people who truly appreciates the difference between blue, sapphire, and navy. Her love of colors goes beyond her clothing though and straight to her personality. I wish I could explain this better.
And finally, because yes, I would consider her an instrumental person in my adolescence...
Rory Gilmore: Bring a book with you everywhere. Season 1, Episode 9 Rory's Dance. After Dean and Rory leave the dance, they end up in Miss Patty's and Rory drops her bag. When Dean picks it up he comments on how heavy it is and Rory reveals she has a book in it.
Dean: You thought you were going to have a lot of down time tonight?
Rory: No, I just always bring a book with me.
This is the epitome of my life because as soon as I don't have a book, that is when the forces of the universe leave me with a two hour wait somewhere and 5% battery life on my cell phone.
Beyond these women, hundreds more have taught me thousands of other things. To them I would also like to say Thank You.
